New York.

I am reaching a crossroads. Now, at 24 (neither too young or old enough), I am obligated to gather myself and find a purpose in life. I can still be young and flagrant, yet I need to have direction. I am panicked. I really want to shout and try to explain, but I’ve found a crappy drafted poem I wrote when I was twenty to argue my point. I am not where I want to be, nor where I fear. This is it. Here is my 4-year-old explanation

See where we are now

Cradled by Ottoman castles

Ampitheatres, open-faced

Graced

Laying on marble floors

Ancient arenas

Wrestling

Too aware that

We’re better off than we once were

This pack of the lost

Scatter-brained

Brought together and

Scavenging for measured success

Excusing its absence

Climbing the valleys of Ephasus

Drunk in the gardens of Selcuk

Led by ambitions too bright to contain

I have begun to wonder how long I can explore

And pretend I am finding nothing

Pretend I am gaining everything

How much longer paper-cupped-coffee

And aircraft bathrooms

Will signal a renaissance.

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~ by nilsthenomad on November 22, 2008.

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